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Sunday, November 14, 2010

Metro Memoir

Netaji Subhash Station. Doors will open on the left. Please mind the gap.

The crowd in the packed coach immediately rushed its way out of the doors. As the coach began to get relatively vacant, I hoped for a seat; but in vain. I slouched back against the closed doors on the right; grateful at least for the breathing space I had now. I was completely exhausted and couldn’t wait to get home and crash into bed. The doors were taking longer than usual to close.

There will be a short delay in the journey of this Metro. We regret the inconvenience caused.

While I cursed my job for the amount of travel it required, I noticed a bunch of teenagers/college goers hanging around near the doors of my coach. It was an animated lot, engaged in an excited discussion that I am certain was as trivial as any of our gangs’. As I wistfully watched their group, my eyes fell on the girl in the corner of the group.

Dressed in a grey sweatshirt and jeans, with her hair in a loose ponytail, she looked like the stereotypical girl next door. She laughed at jokes cracked by all the three guys, but the hardest at only one of them; just so that he would turn towards her when she did. And her eyes were just as well glued on him throughout. So, I thought I might as well check out the guy too. He was the kind of guy you would not understand why girls fell for (although you might nurture a crush on him yourself). I admit that god had been generous to him in the looks department, but the look on his face and his entire body language reeked of conceit and obnoxiousness. He, by the way, was busy chatting up with a pretty girl on his other side. The scene reminded me of the classic cliché-the girl next door loves the popular dude who loves the pretty girl- a la Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I even thought of comparisons with the Archie trilogy, but then, the pretty girl didn’t really seem as cunning as the Veronica character.

There will be a short delay in the journey of this Metro. We regret the inconvenience caused.

This time the announcement didn’t bother me as much, I was engrossed in the little show outside the door. Perhaps, bothered by the delay in our metro, the guy got anxious about time. As he was taking out his mobile, his sunglasses and a wristband fell out from his pocket. As expected our infatuated girl next door was the first to rush and pick it up. With a sweet obliging smile she turned to the guy to give him his stuff. The guy, however, was busy- worriedly discussing how the pretty girl might get late. He casually slipped the stuff back in his jeans without as much as a look in the girl-next-door’s direction. The smile was still on her lips but her eyes turned dim; uneasily she looked away from the guy.

I had not realized that a sympathetic smile had appeared on my face, until when, suddenly, her gaze met mine. She instantly knew that I had been observing, and strangely neither of us looked away in embarrassment. I smiled again, this time consciously.

Please stand away from the doors.

As the doors began to slide in front of me, she looked down for a second; looked at me, and then smiling looked back at the guy.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Thicker than blood

Kriti woke up at the sound of a heavy thud. Still sleepy, she called out to her mother,” Mumma, what was that sound? “.

“Nothing to worry, baby. You know the Kapoors are leaving, their movers are here. Why don’t you get up now, if you get ready in time you can say goodbye to your Sumit bhaiya”, said her mother, from the kitchen.

Burying her face in the pillow, Kriti, once again, got gripped by the sadness that she had been feeling for the 
past few weeks, since the news of this moving had first come about.


Kriti had always been a shy child, she didn’t mix with people that easily, even with the few friends that she had in the neighborhood she would remain inhibited. The fact that she was an only child, made her feel all the lonelier at home as well. Her parents, both working, doted on her, fulfilled her every wish; but somewhere even they were aware of the void that Kriti felt.

Then, four years ago, just before Kriti’s eighth birthday, the Kapoors moved into the house next door. The Kapoors had three kids: Naina, Sunaina and Sumit. The girls, Naina and Sunaina were twins, about to complete their college education. The boy, Sumit, lanky and bespectacled back then, was seven years older than Kriti and also her complete opposite. He was a fun, outgoing kid and within two weeks of them moving in, had made quite a lot of friends in the colony. Kriti, wasn’t one of them, till her birthday.

That year too, Kriti’s parents had thrown a big party, inviting all her friends, decorating the place with balloons, banners, ribbons and, of course, getting the most beautiful and delicious cake. They had gifted her a new bicycle that year. It was like they always tried to compensate Kriti for the one thing that they probably could not give her- a sibling. And that evening, Kriti missed having one more than ever. One of her friends Aditi had just had a baby sister. Over a silly kid fight, she had told Kriti that she was not allowed to play with her baby sister anymore, and maybe God didn’t give her any baby sister or brother because she was so horrible. Kriti had cried a lot that day, even her mother had cried a little bit. The fight was over and forgotten, but that night Aditi was at the party with her baby sister, and that was all that Kriti could think about.

Although, the Kapoor kids weren’t of the same age as Kriti but living next door they got invited to her party nonetheless. Naina and Sunaina, saying that they were too old for the party, excused themselves, but Sumit had to attend, even if only for the formal courteousness. After exchanging greetings with Kriti’s parents, Sumit asked where she was, and they directed him to her. As Sumit made his way towards her, he couldn’t help but notice the sadness in Kriti’s eyes. The little kid had a sheepish smile glued to her face as she accepted her presents but her eyes were dim, and she seemed to keep glancing across the room, at another kid who was playing with a baby. Sumit couldn’t figure out the reason for her sadness, but resolved to cheer her up somehow; “Everybody should be happy on their birthday”, he thought.

“Helllooooo there!!’, called out Sumit, and momentarily pulled Kriti out of the distress. She, having passed him many a times in the hallway and seen him playing with his friends in the neighborhood, obviously recognized him. Then, the sheepish smile returned again as she expected another round of birthday wishes and presents from Sumit.

“I see you have been looking at that little baby for quite a while, would you like to play with her?”, he asked, catching Kriti a little offgaurd as she didn’t expect someone to have noticed this about her, least of all an older kid whom she had hardly ever spoken to. She remained quiet for a moment, thinking of making up some excuse and bringing the conversation back to her birthday, but then the kindness in his eyes made her decide otherwise.

“I can’t, that’s not my baby sister, she’s Aditi’s. God didn’t give me a baby sister or brother”, said Kriti in a timid voice, she didn’t expect Sumit to be able to do anything about it but somehow sharing this with him made her feel lighter.

Sumit was able to put together the pieces, and immediately understood the entire situation. Being the youngest, he was constantly ragged by his sisters and during many a fights had wished that they never existed, and yet he loved them a lot and knew that life without them would never have been the same- never been as much fun. He felt a sudden affection and a sense of protectiveness for this little kid in front of him.

“Hmm.. I don’t know who told you that one can only play with one’s own baby sisters or brothers, but that isn’t true. Why, you aren’t my little sister, but does that mean that I couldn’t play with you?”, he said, not certain what to say if she said that he couldn’t. But Kriti remained silent, thinking over the logic given to her; it made sense.

“Okay, so I guess that means a no…”, he said to check what she had decided.

“No..no.. Bhaiya.. of course you can play with me. But..”, she was still a little unsure.

“ What but? And now that you have called me Bhaiya, let me live up to it na.. It’s your birthday, and if 
playing with that baby is what you want, that is what you shall have. Come on, we’ll go over to them right now”, said Sumit, as he extended his hand towards Kriti. With a moment’s pause Kriti held it, and from then on began a relationship that was much purer and stronger than that of the blood relations.

Sumit had always been the youngest in his family, but with Kriti he was the older one. With her, he felt, he had to provide care rather than be taken care of and this brought in him a sense of responsibility. On the other hand, in him, Kriti had finally found someone who could fill that void in her life that only a sibling could have. When he got his bike, Kriti was the first one to ride with him around the block, as she proudly sat in front of him. He was the first one she ran to whether she had won something or had a terrible fight. Despite their age difference, they understood each other completely and shared a strange connection. Whenever she would be going through some adolescent problems, he would give her an attentive ear and never put her down like the other adults did; tackling her issues like very serious matters indeed. Likewise, when he would have some problems in his life, he would come and share with her. Her earnestly made innocent suggestions might not have made great solutions but definitely assured Sumit of maintaining a positive outlook. With Sumit, Kriti learnt to let go of her inhibitons, and her parents saw a more confident and outgoing side of her come out; and they knew that they had only Sumit to thank for it. Time soon flew by as their bond strengthened.

Then, a couple of months back, Sumit got the final call from one of the engineering colleges in Jaipur. The previous year, Naina and Sunaina had been married to another set of twins in the same city. So, at this news the Kapoors decided to shift to Jaipur where they could be close to all of their children. When Sumit first shared this news with Kriti, she took it better than what he had expected. Soon, his house had been put up for sale. So when people began to turn up to look at the property she realized that the Kapoors were actually serious about it, and her dream run was soon going to end. And that’s when it had actually hit her and the sadness had begun to gnaw at her.


As Kriti finished brushing her teeth, her mother called out,” Kriti, see I was telling you to get ready na..Sumit has to come to meet you, come on out quickly.”

She looked at herself in the mirror and smiled, assuring herself that she can go through this. But as soon as she came out and looked at Sumit, the little child in her came out. She ran into his arms and burst into tears, holding him tight not wanting to let go; she thought maybe this way she could make him stay.

“Don’t go bhaiya, please don’t go.. I’ll be all alone again..please don’t go.. please”, she broke down, the emotions she had been guarding closely for weeks finally came undone.

Kriti’s mother stood in the doorway as she looked over the two of them, tears brimming in her own eyes. Sumit gestured her to go inside, he wanted to talk to Kriti; wiping her tears she went inside. He gave Kriti a tight hug, hoping that it would brace them for what lay ahead. Then, gently stroking her head he searched for words; words that would somehow alleviate the pain of this separation.

“ Haa.. I am being so silly”, suddenly Kriti cried out, pulling herself away from him as he looked at her bemused.

Bhaiya, three years ago, I was a sad, lonely kid, who thought that she didn’t even deserve the kind of love and care, which you have shown me since then. Pata hai, after meeting you I have always felt glad that I do not have a sibling, ‘cause if I did, maybe you would not have noticed me that day, and I would have missed out on all this love, which I believe God had earmarked in your heart just for me. You always call me your angel, but the truth is, you are God’s angel sent for me”, Sumit was left speechless by Kriti’s words. He just looked at her lovingly; the little kid he had met three years ago had definitely grown up.

“Now, I know you have to go”, she continued,” you have to finish your studies. You might be away from me, but, this doesn’t mean that you will stop loving me,” she paused,” will you?”

Seeing her grow doubtful again, it was time for Sumit to say his share,” No, never.. No matter what happens, no matter where I go, I could never stop loving you. And don’t you ever doubt that”, a little smile showed up on her face,” This bond that we share; ye aise hi nahi ban jata… God might have intervened to make us meet, but beyond that it was our love for each other that has brought us this far. Your Bhaiya might not be in the same city as you, but till the time he is in your heart, he has not gone anywhere.” The smile had reached Kriti’s eyes; Sumit knew that she was ready now.

“Now come on both of you, get up and get ready, and what about the farewell card that you had been making Kriti, don’t you want to give it to bhaiya?”, Kriti’s mother was back again, her wet eyes revealing that she had overheard the conversation.

“Ohhh why did you tell it to him, I still have to work on it. I’ll see you in a while bhaiya”, cried Kriti as she ran inside. Her mother waited till she had left the room.

“If it wasn’t for you Sumit, Kriti would never have known what a brother’s love is. It’s Rakhshabandhan, in a few days, I’ll ask her to send you a Rakhi”, said Kriti’s mother, moist eyes beholding tender affection for Sumit.

“Aunty, many a times when blood tries to tie people together in relations, it only strangles them and leaves them gasping for breath. But, when relations are decided by the heart, it draws people together rather than binding them. With or without a Rakhi, I am her brother. That Rakhi will never be a bandhan for me, being there for her is what I want to do, not what I have to do”, with folded hands and a smile, Sumit took her leave. Nothing more needed to be said. The two children had amazed her with their maturity and their love for each other.

With Sumit’s words still echoing in her ears, she returned to Kriti’s room, to find her laboring over the card. Written at the lower corner of the card, in big bold letters it read:

“ God knew exactly the kind of brother I wanted; so he put it all together in you and sent you to find me. Now that you’ve found me, I’ll never let go.                                         
                                                               -          To the brother I never had, from the sister you’ll always have.”



Monday, April 12, 2010

So long, until another red signal...

The signal turned red and I brought my car to a halt, a little worried about reaching the destination on time. The new automated traffic lights counted down the remaining moments of my restless wait. But 115 seconds is a long time; I turned off the ignition. As I looked up, I saw him again. As always, he was carrying his tattered bag in which he totes around the latest bestsellers. The old man must be in his seventies, and his body always seems a little frailer than the last time I saw him, but yet he is always there with his loaded bundle (which apparently always seems to have grown in size since the last time I saw it).  

He moved slowly to each vehicle, holding the most notable (and currently popular) titles in one hand, while he balanced the bag on the other shoulder. I am sure he isn’t literate, and yet he talks about the books as if he had read them all.  You can always tell whether a person is a reader or not by the way he looks at books. Given his experience over time, I am sure he can do it even better. Which is why, I guess, he moved towards our car, when he saw me tilting my head, as I read one of the titles (I know this would have made me anyways too obvious).

He came around to my window and showed me the stack of books he was holding, naming another few that were in the bag. I was a little interested in looking at one of the books, but I knew that would only make him more insistent; and also I couldn’t forget that I was at a traffic signal.  I politely told him that I just couldn’t buy a book at that time; promising a purchase some other time. He waited a moment, then smiled and said “koi nahi..”, and then moved on to another vehicle. Those words and the way he said them just stuck in my mind.


Every day, while rushing to our destinations, we make these (seemingly insignificant) halts at the traffic signals. While we impatiently wait for the signal to change, there is a segment of the society that suddenly bustles to action: Beggars, eunuchs, different sellers.  You would roll down your window for a few, while for the others you wouldn’t even bother to look in their direction. When you take a particular route every day, you get used to the faces of some of these people, them also becoming a part of that daily travel. On some faces, you see the sincerity and earnestness as they choose to sell things and earn, rather than choosing to beg. And you (at least I do) want to help them continue the same way, boosting their morale (and sales) by making a purchase. And when it comes to insignificant items (at even more insignificant prices) I think we all do buy them.

I have been seeing this old man sell books since many years now. On his face I have always seen this earnestness and dignity as he goes about his business. I am not the sort of person who buys books impulsively, I like to take my time and choose the titles I want to read. Also, I think it is hard to buy books at a traffic signal (what with the signal suddenly turning green and the guy behind you honking you to a sudden panic). But yes, one of these days, I do intend to buy a book from this man; to keep the promise that I have made to him today. Also, I think I want to be a part of the little story of his life, which may not be as interesting as one of the bestsellers he carries, but one that I believe would definitely be worth telling.

I turned to my mother and told her the same thing. She said that it was a great thought, and also that the signal had turned green. Like always, it was time to move on.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Bitten by an earworm

Much to the plight of my family, for the past two days I have 
been constantly humming and singing this song, which seems to have gotten stuck in my head. I am sure, this is something that all of us have experienced at some time or the other. You wake up with a tune in your head, and then all you can do the entire day is either hum it in your head or out loud. While, it's nice to have the latest chart-buster playing out in a loop in your head, it can be very annoying when it's a song you hate, but it's stuck in your head nonetheless. I really marvel at the human mind for playing out the exact tunes and notes that the artists have so painfully mastered and sung. And, having been a student for so long, it is funny to note that while textbook lessons take hours to memorize, the lyrics to these songs are magically stored away in the brain. (And god help your restlessness; if you can't remember that one word from the song..)

 Given the time I have on my hands nowadays, I thought of googling to find out whether there is something that makes a particular song "catchy". Well, apparently, there are several researchers who are actually trying to figure out the science behind the catchiness of certain music/songs. They term such songs as earworms. So, basically, what these earworms do is create a sort of itch in the brain. And as it is with all itches, the only way to get rid of this itch is to.... err..  scratch it; in this case by simply repeating that song over and over (..and over again).

The special thing, that makes a song an earworm, could be anything. It could be that the lyrics or the melody that has been set for the song evokes an emotional response in your brain, which makes you connect with it instantly. The use of a hook line, or a short line, that is constantly repeated in the song, definitely makes it easier to remember. And of course, when it is a song(even though the most terrible) that is being played out 24X7, on the radio, on the TV, it is hard to escape it, and it is highly likely that it will wriggle into your Mental Music Player(MMP). And from then on, it will be on your MMP playlist, playing on like a background score to your life; even if at the most inappropriate times.

Oh and also, it's hard to remove an earworm because the more you try to distract yourself, the harder it comes back at you. So the only thing you can do is: sing it, hum it, give yourself an overdose of the song, and hopefully your brain will tire of it. I mean, the song went in one ear, how much time can it really sit in there before your brain kicks it out from the other, right?!!

P.S.- I would like to thank my family and friends for having borne with my singing of such sticky tunes. Looking forward to such supportive behavior in the future as well...:)